Sunday, 24 May 2009

One year on

Sunday 24/05/2009
My exams start tomorrow.
6 hours on monday
6 hours on wednesday
and 3 hours of approaches on friday

Today is the first day of summer.
there is not a cloud in the big cambridgeshire sky (because it's so flat)
and the sunlight is very strong and bright

and as I walked out underneath it this morning
the all powerful God who made the diamond cut glory of the sky
has more for me in life than these exams.
the sky will still be there when these exams are over.
he will still be faithful and work out his plans for me

I am inclined to think that if I fail them and leave cambridge then i have failed.
but he doesn't see me as having failed.
he will provide for me and be faithful to me.

and that big expanse of crystal blue gave me such peace and calm
to be subsumed in something far greater and more glorious
to be trusting that there is something bigger and better and beyond your control

and Hills Road was beautifully empty
just rolling out for ever across the cambridge flat,
lined by such wonderful big trees and the light so bright, the sky so blue and the air so calm
I walked in the middle of the road it was that quiet
the glossy green big magnolia tree opposite the bus stop
the spaceship Belvedere apartments glinting in the sunlight

feeling like I wasn't in stuffy little cambridge
bank holiday weekend
and there was so much space and time and quiet

but they do fill me with dread and I don't know what I am going to do tomorrow.....

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